Memoirs of a Conference Virgin

The first thing I noticed was all the food in the CAL office. Mountains of mini muffins. Gigantic boxes of Fruit Loops. And, inexplicably, a 28-ounce can of pumpkin pie filling. The Milk Bones are easier to explain, since a dog the size of a Toyota Corolla is occupying most of the floor.

It's 48 degrees in every hallway. Are librarians so inclined to nod off in workshops that they are forced to stay awake by running between them to keep warm? But not everyone is cold. I’m noticing that an unusually warm reception greets any male conference-goer under the age of fifty. Perhaps because they’re such a rarity, some people greet them like visiting dignitaries from an exotic foreign land. Of course, I’ve also noticed others looking at this discrete minority in agape shock and amazement, not unlike the look on my own face that one time I saw the yeti.

And I need to warn the other conference goers or any female guest of this hotel. The 2nd stall in the women’s restroom at the main conference entrance does not latch – so if you don’t want to engage in the elaborate yoga posture required to keep the door closed while you’re otherwise engaged, avoid that stall.

The registration desk is staffed by cheerful people who seem to take some sort of transcendental pleasure out of organizing people’s names alphabetically and stuffing conference goody bags. The staff in the CAL office (Fruit Loops aside) are as tight a team of savvy trouble-shooters, movers, and shakers as I’ve ever laid eyes on. In just a few hours, I have seen them manage name tag misprints, order last minute tablecloths for under-adorned conference rooms, and keep the registration desk volunteers supplied with all the post-it notes they want, no questions asked. (When they see what those volunteers are doing with the post-its, I suspect they’ll cut them off.) A running slide show in the registration area lists the day’s events, plus a list of CAL’s sponsors. I cannot adequately express the rush of excitement I experienced when I saw MY library on that estimable roster.

I am a library school student. And I have finally found my tribe.